I have this thing with burgers.
Y’see I just love ’em. I dream of them. I fantasise about eating them. I can’t get a bloody ’nuff of them.
Give me a medium rare patty, a dollop of burger sauce, a big slab of extra mature cheddar (or halloumi or goat’s cheese or red leicester or, actually, Dairylea – which I had in Budapest and was a total game changer!!! – basically any type of cheese, ya get me?) as well as some gherkins, a few cooked onions, possibly some pulled pork or an extra patty and plenty of fresh tomato and I am one happy, salivating, Harry.
*wipes drool from chin*
And during my time living in London I like to think I’ve sampled my fair share of good & bad and ‘meh, it was alright’ burgers, mainly thanks to my habit of getting shit-faced and drunkenly stumbling face first into all the junk food.
(Except for this month because holla atcha gal – someone’s only doing Dry January!! Can I get a smug high five over here pls?)
Oh and thanks to that mad old burger boom that happened a couple of years ago. The one where you couldn’t say bacon double cheeseburger with a big Mac chaser without a new joint opening up. Yeah that one.
We had American imports – Shake Shack, Five Guys. Home grown haunts – Honest Burgers & Hotbox and even something a bit more exotic from Kurabuto with their Asian Sliders & also Korean burger joint, Busan.
Yup the London burger scene positively exploded, much to the detriment of my VS Bikini body but whatcha gonna do.
Annnnnyway, after chowing down on my final bap on the 18th December 2015 I thought that I would round up my fave burgers found right here in London Town.
So here we have it, my Top 6 Burgers Joints in London.
(oh and it’s in no particular order)
nb: Not that I’m any kind of a food critic or burger connoisseur – I mean I once ate a microwave Rustlers and thought that was the best burger ever. Although I was 17 and it was after my first ever toke on a spliff where I definitely didn’t inhale but definitely thought I was stoned and suffering with the munchies…Oh the naivety of youth!.
Starting with my final burger of 2015 – the aptly named Piggy Burger from American BBQ hotspot Hotbox.
28 day-aged beef patty, American cheese, pulled pork,
BBQ sauce, pickled red onion in a sesame seeded bun.
I came. I saw. I conquered. The waiter hurriedly bought me a stack of those lemony fresh wipes with a look of horror on his face when he realised I was going in sans cutlery. RAHH TO THE CAVEWOMAN APPROACH.
It was a messy & delicious and I pretty much had to be rolled out of the restaurant.
Top marks Hotbox. I’ll be back soon.
Top Tip: Don’t order the Mac & Cheese on the side, no matter how tempting it sounds. You won’t be able to manage it plus a piggy burger.
STK Wagyu Sliders
Not actually ordered by me BUT I believe any food in my vicinity should be open for my consumption. Especially if it’s my birthday and ESPECIALLY if it’s a…
Waygu beef slider with special sauce in a sesame seed bun and topped with black truffle.
Yup. step aside dear boyfriend while I inhale that slider you ordered for your starter. Loves you boo.
I’m not sure whether this was so good because it was small and therefore incredibly moorish. Like, christ on a bike, I could eat 2354 of those right. this. second. Whereas a normal sized one *might* be too much or whether it was really THAT good.
Erm, who am I kidding. Neverrrrr too much.
No, it was utterly delicious and the ‘special sauce’ is summit else!
Top Tip: Order at least two portions for your table unless you’re a total dodo.
Shake Shack – Classic Shack Burger
Oh Shake Shack. One thing the Americans have got absolutely fucking right. i.e. the polar opposite of Donald ‘I’m a dickhead’ Trump. While we’re on the subject, anyone seen THIS delightful gif. OH HOW WE LOL’D.
Soz, we’re talking about burgers not idiots.
So yes, Shake Shack burgers are brilliant. For one they Instagram like an absolute dream. Uh-huh I really did just type that, and here’s further proof if the above pic didn’t convince you:
(erm this was a mini one just FYI – I don’t have a giant thumb)
So, yes, not only are they photogenic as fuuuurrrrrk, they’re bloody tasty too.
I will admit that I ordered wrong…the first time I went (a fan of their Smokeshack, I was not – each to their own, soznotsoz) but I couldn’t go wrong the 2nd, 3rd and possibly 4th & 5th time I ordered a classic Shackburger.
Cheeseburger topped with lettuce, tomato & Shackshack sauce.
ALWAYS double up on the meat. C’mon guys, no messing about here! But drop out the cheesy chips, the Americans just don’t know what they’re doing in this department. FYI USA cheese should NEVER BE SQUEEZY.
They’ve got four sites in the UK now, three in London & one in that there, Cardiff.
I say SHAKE, you say SHACK.
Top Tip: Double up on your burger man!!!!
Bleecker Street Burgers
Another incredible import from the US and *possibly* my actual favourite of the whole entire list (I’m still researching this with regular patty purchasing).
I originally discovered Bleecker Street Burgers at Hawker House (read my post here), a winter street market which is every bit as exciting as it sounds – loads of bars selling booze and a sumptuous selection of street food stalls banging out everything from BBQ ribs to jerk chicken, spicy tacos, lobster rolls and in my boyfriend’s humble opinion the best damn doughnuts he’s ever eaten. It’s basically a dream venue for a fat gal like me.
And of course there are burgers from the Bleecker Street Burger stand.
They’re not HUGE buns but it’s definitely quality over quantity here and they’re just so fucking good. I’ve eaten about 32798572 of them so far (see I told you I was a fat gal) and I honestly recks they’re a contender for the number one spot on this list. For reals.
If my pic doesn’t convince you, then check out their Instagram for drool inducing snaps of their menu.
They also do something called angry fries which is chips with blue cheese & hot buffalo sauce. DAAAYYYYUM.
Catch them at Hawker House as I mentioned above or visit them at one of their three permanent locations around London – Spitalfields, South Bank & Canary Wharf.
Top Tip: Avoid peak times (lunch, Saturdays) there’s ALWAYS a queue at Bleecker Street Burger vans.
How fucking good is that picture.
I mean, who needs a fancy Olympus pen when you’re old Samsung S5 takes pics like that eh? (I do, I do! Please someone give me an Olympus pen pls, thanks, k? bye.)
Okay now you’ve stopped licking the screen and I’ve stopped chirpsing for a new camera let’s discuss this absolute beast of a burger that came via Bunsmiths & Deliveroo into my very wide and welcoming gob.
It was Sunday, I was horribly hungover and the thought of going to the shop was making me want to vom (again) on myself. Luckily some clever sod has invented Deliveroo. A search, click and an order later the following was on it’s way to me:
Pulled pork bun –
Halle – fucking – lujah!! Sweet, sweet junk-food and all in the comfort of my onesie. Could life have gotten any better at that point – well yeah my hideous hangover could have fucked the hell off but if I remember rightly it ending up being a bitter 2-dayer. Oh the joys of being OVER 25!
Sadly Bunsmiths will probs only deliver if you’re part of the Bethnal Green / East London massive, (it’s a post-code ting, don’t take it personally) so if you live outside of these areas then you’ll have to trek all the way over to The Seabright Arms. A delightful boozer just off Hackney Road where you can snaffle up Bunsmiths’ delightful menu.
Trust me when I say it’ll will be worth the effort and why not make a day of it by heading to Columbia Road Flower Market or Broadway Market before / after? (don’t mind me just working for the East London tourist board).
Top Tip: Tip your Deliveroo driver for a speedy and happy delivery.
Check out their website HERE.
Barbecoa Wagyu Beefburger
And what better way to end the list than right at the beginning with my first burger of 2015 eh?
Way back in January, my darling boyfriend decided to treat me to dinner and a show albeit the other way around (we caught the matinee performance of Charlie & the Chocolate Factory – read that post HERE – and then went for dinner after) coz I’m just about the swellest thing to ever happened to him. Or it was part of my Christmas present. One or the other or both. Potayto, potarrrto.
Anyway we ended up dining in Jamie Oliver’s Barbecoa where I ordered this ‘woah mama’ of a burger.
I was a bit anxious that I’d played it safe ordering a burger at a proper meaty and quite posh restaurant but all my qualms were alleviated after that first bite.
There’s just summit about that Wagyu meat that makes me swoon.
(btw totally spelt wagyu wrong the whole way through this post and had to go back and change it to WAGYU not waygu duh.)
Anyway it was a great burger. Sadly, I just looked on the Barbecoa website and can no longer see it on the menu (sob! And thank-you Jamie for fucking up my list of the best burgers in London, you do gooding, turkey twizler hating nobber (not really Jamie I heart you)). Hopefully it’s a short-term change so keep everything crossed that they bring it back in the future or perhaps it’s on the specials menu.
Top Tip: Try and get a window seat – oh hi St Paul’s ya beauty!
Either way check Barbecoa out HERE.
So that guys, is the list!
An honourable mention needs to go out to Le Bun and Five Guys too, as they also both do great burgers but weren’t included because my list was getting a bit out of hand – like, hello let’s just not name every fucking burger joint in London, k, Harriet? Plus Five Guys burgers are not lookers and Le Bun used too much goats cheese on my last one so, yeah soz guys you don’t make the list this time around.
Oh and Kurabuto’s Asian sliders also deserve a shoutout! They were really good but STK pipped them to the post…just. (ok maybe they were a teeny tiny bit oily if I’m being picky)
Other burgers I’ve tried but I wasn’t mad about were Patty & the Bun and Meat Mission – which I know will make a lot of burger lovers gasp in horror! I’m not saying I’ll never eat at either of those places again (I’ll happily give things a 2nd chance if it involves food) but I didn’t think they were all that and a bag of chips. Ya know what I mean?
Finally I am yet to try any of the following and am desperately hoping to tick them off in 2016 – which is totes an open invitation to anyone wanting to come with me? Form an orderly queue.
Stokey Bear (appaz the bestest burger ever to hit the capital), Lucky Chip, Mother Flipper, Hawksmoor Burger & I quite fancy trying the Flat Iron burger after seeing THIS pic, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, they top them off with bernaise sauce!!!!
Are you a burger addict? Where are your favourites?
Thanks for reading,