2015 was a pretty good year for me. I mean, I didn’t have any outstanding milestones – no marathons ran, no children saved from burning buildings, no marriage proposals, no babies or buying houses and definitely no weight loss (shock.) – but it was good, I changed jobs, I travelled (or rather holidayed) a fair bit. I spent time with people I really like and cemented some new friendships too.
I liked it. I had fun and I feel like it was my happiest year on the planet so far. Which is what counts really.
Anyway I wanted to do a roundup on my blog (more for me than anyone else, soz guys – super self-indulgent post below) – something I could look back on in a few year’s when I’m feeling all nostalgic for 2015.
So I decided to do a list of things I’ve learnt this year and for some weird reason I’ve written it in third person, like 2016 me going back in time and telling 2015 me everything we did.
I don’t know why and I don’t know if it works but I started writing it like that and then couldn’t be bothered to go back and change it all into 1st person so there we have it.
Here’s 2016 me writing 2015 me a list of things we learnt…
(oh and I totally get that it’s already week two of 2016 so this post is totally inappropriate – Stop looking back Hazza and look to the future!!!!)
1. Being on holiday for your birthday is the best idea you’ve had in your cute 27 years – 2015 is the first first ‘official’ holiday bday you’ve been on (those 2 birthdays spent in Dubai don’t count as you had to work) and it really raised the bar…laying on a beach in Mauritius and sipping cocktails. Yup it was idyllic. Now you better pull your finger out and plan something for your 28th otherwise it’s going to be a real letdown.
2. You’re pretty opinionated and stubborn and do like to get a bit political and thrust feminism on people. Just remember there’s a time & a place for this. And asking people who work for the Daily Mail whether they’re ok with inciting xenophobia at 3am on New Year’s Day probably isn’t it.
3. Star Wars isn’t just for geeks and is actually full of girl power…I mean duhhh of course women have the force!
4. The Tax Man really doesn’t care if you saved that money for a holiday. No he don’t. So say goodbye Bali and hello HMRC. WAHHH.
5. Festivals in the rain are hard fucking work. I mean, you still have a lot of fun and it hasn’t reaaaaally put you off but you could definitely do without the mud up to your tits and having your gazebo fly across the camping site so you can’t find your tent anymore.
(but any excuse to buy this multicoloured Jaded jacket amiriiight?)
6. Glitter gets E V E R Y W H E R E – in your hair, in your ears, in your boyfriend’s beard. Which is all fun and games until your boyfriend realises this. Cue a house-ban on the stuff. (FFS Harry!)
7. But life could always use a bit more sparkle, so douse yourself in it every chance you get. (as long as it’s outside the house and more specifically when you’re at a festival and the rain is apocalyptic, I promise it helps).
8. Positive thinking can change your life…and I don’t care how lame that sounds. You now pretty much believe that what you put out in the universe does come back to you, maybe not in exactly the way you imagined but if you want that new job you need to believe you’ll get it. Karma babez, karma. *all the peace sign emojis*
9. Driving on a moped from Alghero to Stintino in Sardinia is possibly the most uncomfortable hour of your life (bug splattered face, wind blow hair & horribly tense muscles from holding on so damn tight). Just hire that cheeky cinquecento and remove all thoughts about your family visiting you in an Sardinian hospital. It’s an extra €10 well spent
10. Quokka’s are cute AF and undo almost all the damage that Huntsman Spiders have done to the idea of you visiting Australia…now how much are return flights to Perth?
11. Humans are ruining all the best parts of the world. I’m talking crowded beaches, litter everywhere and selfie sticks galore. Can we just not humans.
12. You’re a total Bus Wanker and proud. Yup, you actually find joy in working out which bus route you can get somewhere…yes you did just type that on your blog for everyone to see. Cool story bro.
13. You find it incredibly challenging to watch a whole film / TV programme without looking at your phone approx 143208 times. put. it. the. fuck. down.
14. It’s also hard for you to make the effort to read a book anymore. Like yeah you could read this crime thriller OR you could stare at your phone for the next two hours. Definitely not something to be proud of.
(unless it’s I Am Pilgirm, because OHMYCHRIST it’s SOOOOOO good.)
15. Reading the comments section on the Metro & Daily Mail is your absolute guilty pleasure even though it’s clearly not good for your blood pressure. It makes you wonder about the state of humanity. SERIOUSLY WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
16. Owning a designer handbag is kinda nice but spending that money on (in no particular order) a holiday or an event or food is so much better (who are you kidding, food is obviously top of the list). Hello memories and potential blog posts!!
17. But equally you shouldn’t feel guilty about the choices you make about your life…so long as it’s not hurting anyone and making you happy. *she says as she’s eyeing up Chloe boots*
18. Hotbox could be the Burger champion of 2015 but don’t be afraid to eat another Five Guys / Shake Shack / Bunsmiths just to be 110% sure.
19. There’s this thing called ‘mindfulness’ which sound a bit hippie and weird but is actually a pretty good way to live your life. (don’t worry you haven’t got a yoga mat and you don’t meditate…yet)
20. Aperol Spritzers are just about the most babin’ drink ever. And even though they look radioactive like a WKD everyone thinks you’re chic when you order it, instead of a total chav.
21. Colouring books are no longer just for kids hurrah (those brats only ruin them anyway…colouring outside the lines pfft) however NO-ONE will buy you that Harry Potter one despite you dropping mega hints so get it for yourself and be a hipster, mindfulness twat.
22. A lot of people don’t actually know what the word feminism means and sometimes it’s totally not worth explaining it to them either.
23. You’re a heavy footed runner and a man will shout this out in a sports shop for all to hear. You won’t be rounded up by the local zoo and put in the elephant enclosure.
24. And running in public can be really embarrassing. You do it ummm, once and it’s an emotional roller coaster. But you should totally give it another go…or not because y’know, shin splints and someone you know might actually see you this time.
25. The Rugby Sevens has almost nothing to do with Rugby and EVERYTHING to do with drinking + fancy dress. Which is great because you don’t like Rugby but fancy dress and drinking is something you can definitely get on board with.
26. Budapest is ridiculously cheap, surprisingly hot in the summer (I’m talking 30 degrees of the most sassy sunshine you’ve ever known) and an absolute must on your list of places to visit.
27. You no longer have FOMO about cool parties or boutique festivals but instead about new restaurant openings. FML no wonder my waistline is missing.
28. Although Sequin jeans seem like a great idea on payday, they’re (sadly) not going to be a wardrobe staple. Boo.
29. Cheese makes you fart. It’s possibly the worst thing you’ve found out this year because cheese = love and farts = dumped, un-friended, ostracised from society and a world of embarrassment. Step. Away. From. The. Brie.
30. You should keep making an effort with people you really care about. Buy that train ticket to visit them. Send them a card on their birthday. Reply to that text. Sincerely ask them how they’re doing because you just don’t know what might be happening in their world and how much your little bit of effort might brighten their day.
31. You can get 3 pints for less than a tenner in Sunderland. For reals. That doesn’t mean you should get ten rounds though. I mean, you might be half northern but you definitely can’t handle it.
32. Staycations are as fun as holidays abroad – maybe even more so because there’s no anxiety about getting lost or being sold for 10x camels by accident.
33. You don’t hate fish like you always thought. You find this out in a fish restaurant in Istanbul on a work trip where you pretty much have to eat it or starve. So now you actually kinda like it, time to get on that healthy oily fish bandwagon and be all about that Omega three life.
34. You’re not great at keeping small secrets…especially when you’re drunk off your ass so try less booze and more shhhhh.
35. Sometimes it’s really good to get out of your comfort zone. Even if you’re really scared and have all the anxiety. It’s nowhere near as bad as you’re imagining.
36. Red lipstick always takes you from drab to fab (oh god I make myself cringe). Even if you feel like a bit of a nob wearing it everyone else thinks you look like fierce as fuck (and again). So slap it on you sexy siren (seriously stop it).
37. It doesn’t matter how many times you try to nail that ‘jumping in the air’ pic at your friend’s wedding someone is always going to eff it up by jumping after three and not ON THREE. FFS.
38. Culottes are back and a trend for you. Comfy, cool and seriously stylish.
39. Staring at a picture on Instagram of a girl with a booty to die for and abs for dayz won’t end up with you having either, I know, what a crock! Actually using your gym membership might work though…
40. Speaking of which, despite what you think in March when you go to the gym for two weeks running, you won’t become a fitness fanatic who uses cringy sayings like ‘eat clean, train dirty’. Eww.
41. Getting back to your flat after a weekend of no sleep in Ibiza and then having the police knock on your door and ask you if you want to stay because they found a WW2 bomb in the next street that *might* blow up and flatten the whole block is pretty much the epitome of a holiday comedown. (Cue frenzied screaming and wailing of “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEEE”)
42.. Sometimes you do over-react just a teeny weeny bit and when your boyfriend says you are sometimes you should listen.
43. Disneyland Paris IS AMAZING and genuinely the most magical place on earth. It totally lives up to all expectation. Now to visit Disneyland in ‘Murica!!
44. You’re a rebellious little rascal. (or someone with seriously little willpower) and this is demonstrated that time you tell yourself you’re not to going to drink for a month and then go out the very next weekend and get absolutely shit-faced on gin+tonics, cocktails, a bottle of rose and shots of tequila. I mean really Harriet. REALLY?
45. Lush bath bombs are the BOMB. Lol. So what if you’re not 15…it’s totally fine to spend all your money of glittery bath stuff that smells RIDICULOUSLY good.
46. God’s Own Junkyard is ABSOLUTELY worth the visit. I know no-one really wants to go to Walthamstow but make the effort, you won’t be disappointed.
47. Hakkassan is hands down the best restaurant you’ve been to in London. Oh lord those smokey beef ribs.
48. Cyberdog in Camden is fucking mental. You go in thinking it will be funny and come out overstimulated and in need of a lie down.
49. Contouring is easy peasy…s’long as you’ve got the Clinique chubby sticks.
50. and finally; you’re a very lucky person. So count your blessings, feel happy about your relationships, don’t hate on yourself too much, think positively, trust your gut and for god sake lay off the cheese.
Thanks for reading!