As a kid it was you waking your parents up at 6am with pure excitement for the day – now it’s you’re mum waking you up and you grouchily tell her to give it at least another 4 hours.
And back in the day there was no monumental hangover from drinks in the village pub the night before (with everyone you ever went to school with. Ever). No, instead you were fresh as a daisy because you’d been to bed at 6pm the night before. Everyone know’s the faster you go to sleep, THE FASTER SANTA COMES!
But even then you knew it was your Grandad who ate the mince pies you left out for Santa. Come on Granny – I may be 6 but I’m not an idiot.
You were totally oblivious to the stresses of present buying. What a blissful time it was.
Your stocking seemed never ending, present after present after present. HOW AMAZING IS THIS.
And it was all stuff you 100% wanted rather than some festive pants. Mum I’m 26, I don’t need Christmas puddings on my pants.
There was no awkward moment when you had to open a present from your boyfriend in front of your family and pray he’d not gone down the ‘sexy lingerie’ route.
You immediately put on any new item of clothing, over the top of your PJs, even though your mum would tell you to shower first. New wooly hat, check. New festive jumper, check. NEW PLATFORM TRAINERS THAT MADE YOU FEEL LIKE A SPICE GIRL. OHHH MYYYY GOOOOOD CHECK!!!!!!!
When you did get washed and dressed you’d go through the ultimate Christmas Day makeover with all your new lotions and scrubs. Finally you’d emerge from the bathroom stinking of vanilla body wash and passionfruit body butter and satsuma lip balm all of which came from The Body Shop.
Two words: Christmas tights.
You’re first drink of the day was not alcoholic and you couldn’t have given two hoots about it. BECAUSE CHOCOLATE FOR BREAKFAST!!!
These days if a bucks fizz isn’t in your hand within 10minutes of opening your eyes, you pretty much have a mental breakdown.
It was amazing to finally be able eat the chocolates off the tree and not having the fear of being sent to your room for doing so.
And after breakfast you would spend the entire day totally engrossed in your amazing toys. Unlike nowadays where you wonder what to do with yourself. Shall I sleep? Do I want to watch a film? Maybe eat some more? Where are all the toys!! What do grown ups do on Christmas day?
As a kid you and Sindy (SO much better than Barbie!) would spend the next hour or so driving around the living room in her new 4×4 and then you’d scale the bookcase with her new climbing gear. This alone pretty much made it the best day ever.
Later you’d have to take turns with your brother and sister on the new Playstation you got from Santa. And your brother would lose his shit watching you methodically collect every.single.coin. on Krash Bandicoot. Even going back for ones you missed.
A fight would always break out when someone died in the first second of their turn and they’d demand another chance. BUT HOW CAN THAT COUNT???
Then your Dad would want a go and mess up the entire ‘turns’ system that you and your siblings had going.
You and your sister would dance around to Steps new album – her teaching you the routine to Tragedy and you half getting it. A for effort.
She’d then haphazardly apply sparkly glitter nail varnish to your non-existent, totally gnawed nails.
And you’d spend an hour grazing on a whole tin of Quality Streets. Oh no wait, you do this as a grown up too.
You didn’t have a phone so you didn’t feel the need to text anyone wishing them a Happy Christmas. In fact the only people you spoke to all day were inside the four walls of your house.
Also you didn’t put up a generic status on Facebook, telling everyone how bloody spoilt you were, complete with arranged selection of presents so everyone can see that Chanel packaging. No, instead you’d have to wait until the 6th of January when you went back to school, to show your gains – including your NEW REEBOK BACKPACK!
Pulling Crackers was really exciting. Especially if you won against your parents.
But you’d always try and steal whatever your brother got in his – mini screwdriver set, yes thanks.
You didn’t instagram your #Christmas #Dinner
…which is still amazing now but you don’t use it to disguise the taste of all your vegetables. Weirdly you actually like vegetables now.
You didn’t question how your parents cooked Christmas dinner. “Ummm Mum, are these carrots organic? And why didn’t you honey-glaze them like Delia does? And I do hope the potatoes have been roasted in goose fat.”
After dinner you’d play junior trivial pursuit and think you were the brightest thing in the world when you got all your cheeses before your big sister.
As opposed to now when you play normal trivial pursuit and stare blankly into space after every question. Who the hell thought these up?
Your Dad would then bellow at you and your sister to be quiet because you were just speaking in Jim Carey quotes and collapsing in giggles at the dinning table.
Eastenders. Christmas. Special.
KAT REVEALLING SHE WAS ZOE’S MUM! OMG!!!!
When Titanic was the Christmas movie on BBC and you and your whole family gathered in the living room to watch it. Plus it was genuinely the first time you had been able to see it as a) you didn’t have sky b) you didn’t have it on VHS c) You weren’t 12 so couldn’t go to the cinema, and d) there was no such thing as Netflix or streaming sites.
Thinking cheddar was the only type of cheese out there and practically throwing up your entire Christmas dinner at the smell of a Stinking Bishop. Oh how uneducated you were.
Almost crying at the thought of the day ending rather than being glad to escape your family at the earliest convenience.
OH what a magical time it was! What are your Christmas memories?
Thanks for reading!