7 Thing I learned from Swingers London – It’s really not what you think…


1. Sending your friend a link to swingersldn.com with no explanation and asking if he and his girlfriend want to come with you and your boyfriend is not the best idea.

2. Booking in advance would definitely be preferable however if you can’t, then make sure you get down early so you can get the chance to put some balls in some holes before midnight.

3. Make sure the first time you force your boyfriend on a double date that there is alcohol involved and competitive sport.

4. Having 4 hours of bar time before you play probably won’t improve your swing.

5. When Mac met Cheese do THE BEST mac and cheese I’ve ever eaten. No contest.

6. I’m not very competitive at all.

7. Mainly because I’m shockingly bad at Crazy Golf.

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An absolute sucker for a pop-up with a gimmick when I heard about Swingers London I couldn’t wait to go…although sending the link to my friend Ed and asking him whether he and his girlfriend (who I was yet to meet) wanted to go probably wasn’t my smartest move ever. I had to hastily add that I wasn’t inviting them to some kinky keys in a bowl sex party but instead a Crazy Golf pop up in Shoreditch.

Unable to book in advance (it was all sold out!) we went anyway one Friday, hoping that we’d still be able to play. You can find Swingers London at Factory 7 Warehouse on Hearn Street in, of course, hip and happening Shoreditch. I’d been here before, for a couple of You Are We parties and the place had always been a shell so it was amazing to walk in and see what they’d done! On a raised platform to the left was the clubhouse and bar and on the right was the 9-hole crazy golf course. It really was pretty impressive.

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I arrived first and the place was packed! So I decided to queue up and book us in for a round – only to be told the earliest we could putt was 11.10pm. Yup, four. hours. later. Woof. Undeterred I booked the slot and waited for the rest of the gang to arrive…a double G&T kindly kept me company.

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Finally my boyfriend arrived and soon after him, Ed and his lovely girlfriend Leah. I’d secured us a spot in the crowded clubhouse and we set about getting to know each other’s, other halves over copious amounts of booze. Like all good swingers nights; alcohol makes everything a bit more relaxed.

Initially the boys were a little shy of one another…

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But a few drinks in and they were best buds…

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At some point Ed and Leah ventured off in search of something to line our stomachs with however I suspect by this point it was a little too late. Regardless they came back with a pizza from Pizza Pilgrims (you can read my review of their Carnaby Street restaurant HERE, yknow, encase you wanted to)…

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And some molton, macaroni heaven from the When Mac met Cheese food truck…

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Sharing their finds, I got stuck into the Mac & Cheese which resulted in me making some noises more akin to your normal ‘swingers’ night – i.e. groaning in pleasure. I’m gonna put it out there: this mac and cheese was the best mac and cheese I’ve ever had, in the whole existence of my youthful 26 years on this planet. Three weeks on and it’s still all I can think about. I would go back to Swingers London just for the Mac and cheese alone, it’s that freaking good. As such I’m now impatiently waiting for When Mac met Cheese to set up shop somewhere permanent so I can move in and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Until then, I’ll be keeping an eye on their twitter to see where they might be parking the truck next.

So bellies lined, a few more drinks downed and somehow those four hours we’d needed to kill before hitting the course had flown by (the sign of a great double date I say!). It was finally time for us to get crazy where some golf was concerned! – we also had high hopes of getting on the leader board…

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Clubs in hand it quickly became apparent the eight(ish) G&T’s I’d guzzled in the wait to play hadn’t improved my swing nor my co-ordination – with golf balls flying all over the shop. I think I did roughly 17 putts on the first and second hole alone and dreams of the leader board legacy evaporated. I was in stitches at how rubbish I was and Ed, the poor guy, nearly needed stitches when one of my rogue balls bounced off the loop the loop and went straight for his head. Luckily he’s got quick reactions and ducked before it took him out!

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What is it they say? The road to success is not straight…or paved with failure? Totally true in my case but finally I got my ball in the right place. A bogey possibly or was it a birdie.

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In stark contrast my boyfriend smugly displayed a certain knack for Crazy Golf. Oh of course he bloody did – Mr freaking perfect. Despite being a few pints down himself he totally kicked all our asses, nailing almost every hole (definitely not an innuendo!!) in just two shots – apparently it’s all to do with angles. Whatever babe, the fun is in the taking part. Ahem, am I right?

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Seemingly Ed doesn’t agree with my mantra being just a touch more competitive than I am, he was definitely disappointed he didn’t win! Don’t worry dude…with a ‘tache like that you’re always #winning in my book.

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It took us around 30ish mins to complete the 9 hole course – although I may have just totally made that number up – hey, I was heavily sedated on gin by this point but that seems like a sensible amount of time to do 9 holes. As we came to the end of the course we noticed that we were almost the last people in the place but it felt like it was good timings on our part. Being last on the course meant that there was less waiting around for each hole as there were less people playing and, as I’ve mentioned, we had an ample amount of time to make the most of the clubhouse and bar which is really what everyone is there for. Oh come on – adults will do anything to legitimise a night out on the tiles it just so happens Crazy Golf is the perfect cover for this!

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I think it’s fair to say was had a right old laugh at Swingers London more so because we all kept our clothes on! (not a set of keys or bowl in sight – thank god!) In fact it’s been so popular in general that they’ve extended the run into the new year. It’s a great alternative to your standard night out and at just £11 for entrance and a round of golf its wallet friendly too. If you’re a big fan of Pub Golf (no idea what I’m on about, click here) then Swingers London will have you raising your game.

http://swingersldn.co.uk/

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