Do you think this blog is getting a little complain-y? I’m starting to worry my list posts are just inane ramblings of a very moany/whiney person. But I can’t help it…stuff just gets my goat. I’m sort of hoping I’m not alone here…I mean, surely these things annoy EVERY NORMAL HUMAN BEING. And if they don’t, well you’re just odd or very patient or a Buddah or something. So yeah, here is a list of things that should annoy everyone. Oh and also – how amazing are the gifs I found.
1.People who SLAP their food about in their mouths. STOP IT IMMEDIATELY. There’s no need to eat that loudly. Ever.
2.This pack of bacon from Tesco. WHO ONLY NEEDS 7 SLICES???!!! Eight or six or even ten…never seven. Stupid.
3. Flakey friends. I don’t so much mind people cancelling on pre-made plans as I do build up to the cancellation. The texts a day or so before that are purely to prepare you for the inevitable “Sorrrry I can’t come anymore ” message. Like, just man up and cancel straight away or better still don’t agree to come in the first place.
4. Kids…when you don’t have kids…except for maybe one or two…like the one your best mate had or ones you’re related to. Those kids are cute, everyone else’s shuddupayaface.
5. People who can’t use grammar correctly – “You was going to” DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. Same as “your so beautiful” and “yous two” please stop.
(*prays everything in this post is written grammatically correct*)
6. Being charged by a cash machine to have some of MY OWN MONEY. Bastards.
7. Having to create soooooooo many passwords. I know, I know…internet security blah, blah, blah but my brain doesn’t have the capacity to remember 24 different passwords. What is so wrong with using my football team and the year of my birth???
8. And while we’re on the subject of passwords, when you forget yours and have to go through the series of security questions and they keep telling you your first pet wasn’t a Hamster called Spice. I THINK I’D KNOW BETTER THAN YOU ELECTRONIC MACHINE…After all, I was the one weeping at her funeral in the back garden after we let her out the cage and she accidentally got shut in the door.
9. Getting a notification on your phone, checking it the icon not disappearing.
10. Equally people who aren’t bothered by their notifications. Ummm it says you have a message. Yeah I know. Aren’t you going to check it? Nah. What…? What’s wrong with you.
11. Boyfriends who allow rogue hairs to grow on their bodies and refuse to pluck them. Or more importantly refuse to allow you to pluck them. Pleeeeeeeaaaaase let me remove that random hair from the middle of your cheek.
12. Olly Murs.
13. BT Free Wifi – the worst wifi in the whole world. I’ve clicked ‘forget network’ a thousand times – why are you still automatically connecting and making it impossible for me to do anything???
#14. #People #who #hashtag #every #word #on #their #instagram #picture. #Please #stop.
15. When it snows or there’s a rainbow and your facebook feed fills up with hundreds of statuses and pictures about/of the same thing.
16. When bar staff put lemon in your gin and tonic. I mean, WHO DOES THAT?
17. Restaurants that don’t take reservations. I’m looking at you Soho.
18. And waiters that scoff at you when you ask for Tomato Ketchup.
19. People who buy all the H&M x Designer collection pieces and put them on Ebay an hour later for at least 3 x the original price. a) it’s still from H&M b) actual designer pieces costs less c) you’re a nob for doing it.
20. The word Bae. Unless you’re speaking Danish and discussing poo.
21. Having to remember to register for Glastonbury tickets, then having to remember not to be too hungover/drunk at 9am on the Sunday they go on sale. Then being locked out of your hotmail where your registration number is because you forgot your password and now you’re being told your first pet was not Spice the Hamster.
22. People in front of you who just suddenly stop walking – especially in large crowds. coughtouristscough.
23. The fact that Pret sandwiches are like 10,000 calories. Just how is that even possible…they have so many lettuce leaves in them!
24. Models who send you 3 x 35MB emails with their new images and totally crash your email – hello, ever heard of Dropbox?
…Sorry, might just be me that’s annoyed by this.
25. And models and promo staff who cancel on the day with the most over-rehearsed excuse ever – (no you weren’t mugged and you didn’t have to sleep in a tent that just happened to be pitched in your backgarden) – forgetting that they are friends with you on facebook at which point they tag themselves in all the photos from their wild night out. THTOOPID!
…Oh, just me again?
26. When your mum tells you stories about people you don’t know but expects you to remember who they are by saying their name repeatedly. “Oh you know, Carol…Carol, Carol? Yes Carol!”
27. That there is no cheese emoji.
28. When you’re too hungry to decide what you want to eat and no-one will decide or get it for you.
29. When you reach the age where everything in Primark looks cheap and tacky. Meaning you have to go and spend proper money on proper clothes in places like Whistles and Cos and Reiss. Places where £50 will no longer get you a whole new wardrobe but maybe just one
jumper plain t-shirt pair of socks. Pffft.
30. People who still haven’t worked out that when the tube barriers don’t let you through and flash red you HAVE TO TAKE A STEP BACK. Rather than just continue to swipe your card over and over, as you push against the barriers huffing like a twat.
31. All those internet stories that have titles like ‘She thought she was going to work, you won’t believe what happened next…’ – Oh no, I’m not falling for this one and clicking on the link…only to have a mountain of spam unleashed onto my computer.
32. When it’s just started getting dark and you know that you still have months to get through before it’s summer again and you can legitimately wear glitter every weekend and roll about in a field.
33. Putting loads of layers on because it looks really cold outside and then feeling like you’re wearing a furnace after walking for 10 minutes.
Edit: so I’ve had a little think and this post could also be called – First World Problems. Life ain’t actually all that annoying.
Thanks for reading!