After my ‘30 Ways I’m failing at life‘ post I felt I needed to do this one to balance things out and to stop you all pitying me. So here are some ways I’m succeeding at life…admittedly it’s a few less than ways I’m failing because, well, I’m English and therefore am programmed to be miserable and moany and complain…a lot.
But anyway…to winning!
1. I stopped and chatted to one of those annoying charity people in the street and actually donated some money. Scope you are very welcome for my monthly donation via text, I hope it helps many disabled people and their families. And bravo to Tom for getting me to stop – I really do think you guys do an incredibly hard job standing out on the street trying to get irate Londoners to stop and talk to you. Pat on the back for you.
2. And on a Tuesday night I went out and drank LOADS OF AMAZING COCKTAILS. I got them really cheap too thanks to a snazzy London Cocktail Week wristband.
3. Despite the fact that my entire outfit was from, ahem, Primark I realised that I still looked sexy as fuck in it.
5. I also watched THIS video over and over and over. It is the best way to cheer yourself up.
6. I wrote THIS blog post and loads of people (aka: not just my Dad) read it!
7. I realised I can touch type so well that I don’t even have to look at the screen. In fact that’s how I wrote this whole blog post – while not even looking. Joke (I only did this sentence) and this one. It’s like my superpower.
8. I bought this jacket from H&M and I’m in head over heels for it…
9. I have a clear understanding that UKIP are the worst invention of the modern world.
10. But on the flip side I also live in a world where someone like Malala Yousafzai exists and can be awarded a nobel peace prize. Right on Malala.
11. I went another week resisting the urge to buy a quaterpounder and devour it in 0.2 seconds as a snack to eat after work before I got home and had dinner. (I have totally NEVER done this #secreteater)
12. I may not be able to get up when my alarm goes off but I have perfected the art of sleeping for EXACTLY 3 more minutes when I wake up and check the time and it’s 8.27am.
13. I’m due on my period (Oh shit!!!!!! she mentioned the scary P word!) and as of yet haven’t had my usual monthly meltdown where I find fault in every aspect of my life and genuinely contemplate being that god awful person under a train at 9am on a Monday morning.
14. I realise the last point possibly should have been shared with a close friend/family member/psychiatrist and not the whole internet.
15. But it’s cool because I got some food, I got a job, my pets HEADS AREN’T FALLING OFF.
*(Disclaimer: I don’t have any pets)
16. This guy I really like told me he loved me even after I acted ungrateful when me he bought me a present and that present turned out to be disgusting blue Ralph Lauren bedding. Like…is that all I get to look forward now? Is that what constitutes a ‘present’ – what happened to all the expensive shoes and handbags? And excuse me but, blue. stripy. bedding. WHAT ARE WE IN, A FUCKING FRAT HOUSE!!!!
May have just had that monthly melt down, I was talking about – my bad
17. My boyfriend bought me a really thoughtful gift – some lovely blue Ralph Lauren bed sheets that were really expensive and I’m so happy and grateful for them. They are not at all starchy and itchy and they are totally better than the Egyptian cotton ones I wanted to buy.
18. I work in an office that has tea-time everyday at 4pm. Yup, everyday at 3.58pm we fire up the kettle pour a pot or two of English Breakfast and chat about the best porn film parody titles (Throbin Hood, Prince of Beaves anyone? Haha, more here) for an hour while eating Maryland double chocolate chip cookies. EVERYDAY.
20. And that’s the same office that took me out for London Cocktail Week on Tuesday and got me piiiiissssed as a fart.
20. My mum called me and I called her straight back.
21. Thanks to my job I realise every single day that being unbelievably beautiful isn’t everything. A lot of gorgeous models are annoying as hell AND as the stereotype suggests…stupid.
22. And finally, I’ve never signed of an email, text message of voicemail with the words “Love And Light.”
Thanks for reading!