To break up the onslaught of Mykonos heavy posts (I could feel the sad jealousy was turning to angry jealous…just saying.) I thought I share with you the 15 things that have been, erm, ‘happening’ to me recently that make me feel like my life is falling apart. I reckon if I write them down I might be able to work out how to stop them, erm, ‘happening’ to me…
- Your makeup and cosmetics shelf/drawer/cabinet looks like this.
2. You currently have not one but two half-unpacked suitcases in you room. One from your holiday which you arrived home from two weeks ago; the other from an impromptu visit to your Grandmother’s last weekend that somehow resulted in all your clothes smelling like a hospital/old people/disinfectant.
3. You still set your alarm for 7.30am everyday even though you’re definitely not going to even think about getting out of bed until 8.26am at which point you tell yourself you have a WHOLE five more minutes to read the Daily Mail showbiz section before you really do have to get in the shower.
4. You decide in the shower that today is a trousers day despite BBC weather telling you it’s going to be 24 degrees because your Venus razor has been used at least 8 times over the number it should have been thrown away at.
5. You put on the new clothes you bought yesterday (IN THE SALE THANK-YOU VERY MUCH!) because you keep forgetting to put the ones you already own in the wash (or even take out of the suitcaseS, plural.).
6. Because you get out of bed at 8.31am everyday you don’t have time to eat breakfast at home so are FORCED into going to Starbucks (nearest place to your office) and purchasing their Sausage Buttie each morning. You would have the granola, fruit and yoghurt but think it’s pretty bad for you because it’s probably been in that plastic pot for a good few days plus sugar is the enemy and fruit defo has loads of sugar in it.
7. Feel guilty about the daily sausage buttie and the fact that you go to Starbucks solely for food and hardley ever coffee, so decide you’ll go to Pret instead for a pot of porridge. Leave with tomato, mozzarella croissant…and a banana (cancel each other out, right?).
8. Your nails look like this…
9. On your lunchbreak you know you have important things to do but you can never remember what they are, so you go and spend £50 on 60mins of sunbed sessions (even though you’re still wearing something of a holiday tan) and then go and look at the Zara sale for the 5th time this week (it’s only Wednesday).
10. As soon as you’re back in the office you remember that you were meant to go to the bank and pay something or cancel something or sort something out. You vow to do it tomorrow because after work you’ll be too tired and you’re pretty sure the banks close at midday or something like that.
11. You get home and happen to catch a whiff of your armpit…wonder if you did indeed remember to put deodorant on this morning. Wonder how you can not remember if you put deodorant on or not and also if you didn’t remember was it your BO you could smell on the central line this morning.
12. Log onto facebook and see another friend is buying a house/getting married/ having a baby and realise that you can’t afford to do any of these things for at least another 10 years because you spend £50 on sunbeds a week after you get back from holiday. To distract from this you buy 10 pots of glitter off of Ebay ready for that festival you’re going to at the end of the month. HELLO GROWN UP!
13. Stay up til midnight simultaneously scrolling though instagram/twitter/facebook, writing crap about your life on wordpress and watching really thought provoking TV like Ex on the Beach and/or Big Brother. Think some of the people on these shows have valid points. Question your mental state.
14. Decide not to wash you hair, vowing either to get up early and wash your hair or pray that your batiste hasn’t run out and you can find it in that pile of cosmetics you refer to as your “Beauty Station”. Then realise you already have run out of makeup remover and go to bed telling yourself that sleeping in you makeup for ONE night won’t age you 10 years.
15. Realise that the batiste wasn’t in the original photo you took of the pile of cosmetics…so find it and actually place it in the
beauty station mess, retake the photo and use a fancy app to point it out. True story. Know that life has well and truly fallen apart at this point.
So yeah…need to get things back on track, starting today with makeup removed, faced cleansed, toned and slathered in a freebie sachet from Aesop (as IF I could afford £50 on one bottle of face stuff…alright, I forgot I told you lot about the sunbeds, doh).
Hope your life is more in order than mine!!
Thanks for reading! 🙂