Halloween Dream…


Halloween, that time of year when many a women throws caution to the wind and feels the breeze on her vagina by putting on the sluttiest thing she owns smearing it in blood and calling it a costume.

Trick and most certainly a treat for those unlucky fellow party goers who are in close proximity when the Halloween punch strikes and the bride of chucky rears its ugly head in the form of a badly misjudged bend and snap to “AAAND THIS IS THRRRRILLLLLER!!!!” 

So each year I too try and out-slut myself, however things seems to go awry somewhere along the lines when it becomes quite clear I have once again taken the idea of ‘dress up’ far too seriously.

Don’t get me wrong I am still a strong believer that if you are doing fancy dress that you need to do it like Jack Skellington is yo daddy. No half hearted attempt ever won first prize at the fair but do remember the following;

1. If you do go for a face FULL of war-paint you really have to remember that you have, gone for a face full of war paint. Nothing like spilling shots over your carefully painted on Hulk face to ruin the effect.
2. This is near impossible when the aforementioned Halloween punch taste like nothing more than an ‘exotic fruit mix’
3. One of your friends will be wearing a nice new dress they ‘bought today and really wanted to wear’ and their only remotely Halloween effort will be a witches hat which they will lose at the first possible moment.
4. This same friend will also praise your over the top efforts exclaiming ‘Wow, I never knew you could look so hideous! I guess some people find it easier than others’ and she really means it.
5. There is no styling out a zombie outfit at 10am the following morning on the walk of shame home. However much you are enjoying the after party GO HOME BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OVER.


6. And always, always force your pet into looking like an idiot with you! VIVA LA SPIDERPUG!

Dress up your dog?


Mainly though you just have to embrace it. Own your halloween outfit be it a slutty school-girl or an oversized pumpkin!

My inspiration this year however came in the form of 

Dia De Los Muertos

Creepy yet weirdly beautiful too!



One thought on “Halloween Dream…

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