Yes my little pumpkin pies, you read the title correctly. In this incredible blog post are ninety – that’s nine, zero – awesome things to do in London.
I’ve done a fair few but still have a lot to tick off myself so if you need a bucket list buddy then holla atcha girl!
Let’s get stuck in shall we…
1. Press the ‘press for Champagne’ button at Bob Bob Ricard.
2. Visit the Japanese Garden in Holland Park
Go as early as you can to avoid all the tourists! And keep an eye out for the resident peacock.
3. Get your Fancy Dress costume from Soho Sohigh
They sell glitter by the bucket load and the staff are BEYOND lovely. And whilst you’re there, enjoy the other delights of Berwick Street Market.
4. Swim at a Lido
Drag your ass out of bed and go for an early morning dip to feel the most ALIVE you ever have. Or just wait to go on the one sunny day we get a year.
There are several to choose from, find a list of them here.
5. Order a Freakshake from Molly Bakes
You will NOT regret it. Okay there may be a teensy weensy little bit of regret when you’re halfway down it and you’re so full you think you might vom but my god does it make for a good Instagram shot.
6. Get a canal taxi from Little Venice to Camden…or the zoo!
For one you can shout: I’M ON A BOAT. And for two: it’s SO much more fun than the tube.
Book a ticket here.
7. Have a Bagel from Brick Lane
A rainbow one, obviously. It’s also open 24 hours, find them HERE.
8. Go to the Cat Cafe.
Everyone has an inner crazy cat lady. Let yours live at Lady Dinah’s Cat Emporium.
9. Get drunk on cheap cocktails at London Cocktail Week
Because sometimes you need a legit reason to spend all your money on fancy drinks.
10. Climb up the hill at Greenwich Park for one hell of a view
But be warned, it’s a really fucking steep hill but London looks dreamy from the top. Take pictures here. And then, y’know, you can officially be in two places at once at the Royal Observatory…if you fancy it.
11. Enjoy a pint at The Churchill Arms
The prettiest pub in London and they have bowls of cheese, yes CHEESE on the bar for you to help yourself to. hashtag, the absolute pub dream.
12. Let them eat…a slice of cake from Peggy Porschen
It looks like Barbie’s bakery and the cakes taste like angels made them.
13. Buy flowers from Colombia Road Market
Head down on a Sunday and be charmed by the cockney geezers on the stalls, buy flowers all the colours of the rainbow and then enjoy a pint at The Royal Oak and Tapas at Laxerio.
14. Go retro with bowling at Rowans
Take it back to the old skool with 90s r&b, arcade games and karaoke and of course some bad-ass bowling.
15. Morning Yoga at the Sky Garden
Seriously the best way to start your day and this is coming for the least ‘morning’ person you’ll ever meet.
16. Pick up Saturday bargains from Roman Road Market
ASOS, Topshop, French Connection, this place has it all and cheap at half the price. And as you’re in East London why not indulge in some jellied eels or proper pie & mash for G. Kelly?
17. Take pictures of the roof at The British Museum
Because sure, all that old crap in the cabinets is cool but everyone knows the roof is the best bit. Soz not soz.
18. Enjoy a bottomless brunch
Bourne & Hollingsworth is a particular favourite but London now has LOADS to choose from, HERE is a list of some of the best.
19. Admire the View from Ally Pally
Perhaps on firework night or if not then just on a nice clear evening when you can watch the sunset with you boo (even if your boo is an ice-cream or a portion of chips). Romantic or what.
20. Go up Big Ben
Although, only if you’re a UK resident, click here for details.
21. Have breakfast in bread at The Barge House
22. Going to an early morning rave at Morning Gloryville
And faaaackin’ ave it!!!! …whilst sober as a judge, you’ll be amazed at how liberating it is!
23. See the sights from Waterloo Bridge
It’s the best bridge, you can see everything from St Pauls to The London Eye to the Houses of Parliament.
24. Buy some cheese from London’s oldest cheese shop
Paxton & Whitfield is BEYOND cute and of course you can try before you buy.
25. Be blinded by the lights at God’s Own Junkyard
It is WELL worth the trek all the way to E17.
26. Pee in an Eggpod at Sketch
Because OMG the only time a toilet selfie is okay. And when you’re not posing up a storm in the loo, enjoy afternoon tea in the gallery. #housegoals
27. Pick up antiques in Maltby Market
Or just pretend to and really go for cocktails at Little Bird Gin and the steak ciabattas from the Beefsteaks.
28. Catch a flick at the Rooftop Cinema
…or better still, in a hot-tub, or as part of an immersive theatre show or on a giant pillow or go to one of the insanely cute, sofa-laden independent cinemas London has to offer.
29. Go boating on the lake at The Serpentine
But try not to fall overboard or run over a swan!
30. Be a cheap date at Pizza Union
Proper pizzas for as little as a fiver and bottles of Peroni for £3, you really can’t go wrong.
31. Drink champagne and watch the sunset at Vertigo 42
Save you pennies, book a table, order a bottle of bubbly and look out in awe over London, the little hotty.
32. Go on a spooky walk around a Cemetery
You’d be surprised at how beautiful and peaceful a cemetery can be. Highgate & Tower Hamlets are two personal faves and in Highgate cemetery you can find the graves of Karl Marx and erm, Jeremy Beadle.
33. Watch the boat parade at the Canal Cavalcade
And feel like you’ve stepped into some quaint countryside town for the day.
34. Drink Prosecco Spritzers at Borough Market
…whilst trying ALL the tasters you can – before popping into Padella for some deliciously fresh pasta.
35. Eat fish and chips from the oldest fish & chip shop in London –
Because THIS. IS. ENGLAND. And apparently we love fish and chips.
36. Pose at the Pagoda in Victoria Park
And then enjoy breakfast at the Pavilion cafe overlooking the lake. So damn pretty…and the food is pretty spot on too.
37. Go to the freakiest museum in London
The Hunterian museum is cheaper than the London Dungeons and possibly more gory.
38. Buy some bargains at a car boot sale
Get to the one in Stoke Newington before 7am to beat the real bargain hunters and super cool fashion stylists to nab yourself some designer gems.
39. Drink cocktails out of a Pineapple at Street Feast
And then eat every cuisine imaginable. Think of it as a your own 17-course ‘taster’ menu, without the pretentious sized portions.
40. Climb the O2
You’ll feel like a conquerer at the top!
41. Steer clear of Brick Lane for you curry and go to either Dishoom, Tayyabs or Lahore.
But prepare yourself for a PROPER spicy cuzzah at the latter two. No shandy, lightweight Kormas here but they are BYOB. And as for Dishoom, well I regularly dream about their Ruby curry. Seriously good.
42. Drink your way around London’s rooftop bars
There are so bloody many!
Madison, Radio, Aqua, Queen of Hoxton, Sky lounge, Vista, The Boundary, The Big Chill, Rumpus Room, Coq D’Argent, Sushi Samba, Golden Bee, Bird of Smithfield, Netil 360, Kensington Rooftop Gardens, Franks Cafe, Dalston roof-park, The Culpeper.
It’s like a classy kind of bar crawl.
43. Head to the The Horniman Museum
It may be a bit of a trek but the aquarium is pretty banging and there’s also the beauuuutiful gardens. Oh did I mention theres a giant stuffed walrus there AND they have alpacas!! Real ones!
44. Jump up and down on the Tower Bridge glass walkway
OH YOU BLOODY DAREDEVIL, YOU!
45. Go to Broadway Market on a Saturday and buy the best dip in the world
The Moroccan chemoula from Borough Olives stall is the GREATEST DIP you’ll ever try and buy. I promise. And once you’ve inhaled all the samples, bought lots of other amazing fresh food, home-made leather wallets and super sexy lacy lingerie from the other stalls you can be spoilt for choice with all the restaurants to have dinner at.
46. Paddle-board down the Thames
Ride that rail to Richmond and paddle on down the river.
47. Go to a bar and bring your own booze
No seriously, you provide a bottle of voddy and they make you some cool cocktails with it at BYOC.
48. Discover an abandoned church at St Dunstan in the East
It’s pretty, it’s free to visit and it’s a nice place to hide from the hectic-ness of the Square Mile.
49. Stroll around St Katherine’s Docks and
Go on a Friday and enjoy the food market and then pop into The Dickens Inn for a beverage or three.
50. Go to the beach
All the way at the end of the central line you can find the Ruislip lido which is complete with a man made beach.
51. Be a conisseur at Gordon’s wine bar
And see how many awkward first dates you can spot.
52. Feel sick in the fast lift up to Sushi Samba
And the stand under the orange tree for a snap.
53. Before heading up to the Duck & Waffle for food
The old D&W is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Yup, if you feel like it, you can go at 3-o-clock in the morning and enjoy their delicious signature, duck egg & waffle dish 40 floors up.
55. Get lost in Brixton Market
There’s just too much to love about the whole area. Just get yourself there, pronto.
56. Enjoy the Winter Garden all year round
And if you’re feeling a little flush go for the Sunday all-you-can-eat-and-drink, ahem, champagne brunch.
57. Do some urban sport
Flex those muscles of yours and play table tennis at Bounce, crazy golf at Plonk, shuffleboard at the London Shuffle Club and even darts at the Flight Club.
58. Get a makeover in the beauty boudoir at Charlotte Tilbury
Because OH MY DAYZ how amazing does the boudoir look?!?!?!
59. See some weird shit at The Museum of Curiosities
Curious and curiouser but more importantly it also doubles as a cocktail bar!
60. Take pictures of the coloured houses around Notting Hill
And play ‘I’d like to live in that one’ before slipping into The Gold on Portobello for a cider.
61. Do the Tree Top trail at Kew Gardens
*spoiler* I’m a little bit obsessed with botanical gardens so Kew is an obvious entry on this list. Go in spring and see some Japanese cherry blossom or go in Autumn and enjoy the changing colour of the leaves.
62. Celebrate National Burger Day (27th August) at one of the many incredible burger joints in London –
It’s really hard to decide which is actually the best so try them all.
63. Feel the wind in your hair on the Thames clipper
Coz once again, I’M ON A BOAT. And you can even use your Oyster on this one.
64. Spot the hangmans noose at the Prospect of Whitby
And threaten any noisy, unruly children with it.
65. Order the baked camambert and sip champagne at erm, Champagne & Fromage
Surely no explanation needed??
66. Have a pretty picture in front of the Sugar House Studios
Facebook profile picture level: EXPERT.
67. Drink banging cocktails at Purl
Because everyone’s drink should ‘smoke’ at some point in their life.
68. Hideaway in Clifton Nurseries
Unbelievably beautiful garden centre in Marylebone.
69. Go White-Water-Rafting
Not even joking. Lee Valley is your place.
70. Be a lady (or gentleman) that lunches at the Burberry Cafe
And feeling a bit like you’re part of the fash crowd, dahhhhhling.
71. Visit the Shri Swaminarayan Hindu Mandir
Hindus literally have the best gaffs.
72. Dine on a double decker bus
Whether it’s afternoon tea, a vegan restaurant or a great dirty pizza there is more than one double decker to dine on in London.
73. Chase chickens at one of the city farms
Or maybe don’t, I think it’s frowned upon…unless you’re a three-year-old.
74. Eat the best kebab of you life in Dalston
You don’t even need to be drunk to enjoy this donner.
75. Avoid the Covent Garden tourists in Neals Yard
A gem of a courtyard in the middle of what I often call, hell on earth.
76. Do London, Harry Potter Movie tour
Platform 9 3/4 at Kings cross, Diagon Alley is apparently just off of Leadenhall Market, and the Black residence can be found on Claremont Square in Angel.
77. Pop through the Smeg fridge for drinks with the Mayor of Scaredy Cat Town
TOO KITSCH. And if you don’t fancy drinks, just stay upstairs at the much loved Breakfast Club.
78. Stay on a super yacht
The hotel is serious James Bond vibes.
79. Relive your childhood with a bowl of your favourite cereal for the Cereal Cafe
Choose from over 100 different cereals and 30 different milks and 20 different toppings. The only downside is no free toys.
80. Browse the delights of Lina’s deli in Soho
And get some fresh pasta to go!
81. Drink all the coffee
At Flat white, Foxcroft & Ginger, The Attendant, Workshop or Look Mum No Hands.
82. Feel like you’re at a free festival in London Fields
Bring your mates, some music, a BBQ and join the party every weekend throughout the summer.
83. Hideaway at the Faltering Fullback
And feel like you found your very own treehouse in their beer-garden.
84. Go for Pho on Kingsland Road – where you’ll be spoilt for choice
Apparently the best Vietnamese on this road is Song Quê Cafe, just don’t expect service with a smile.
85. Enjoy a night of comedy
You can laugh your head off from as little as a fiver at some places in London. Try the 99 Club, The Pleasance Theatre or of course, The Comedy Store.
86. Walk the length of Regent’s Canal
There are so many hidden gems along it and it’s just so damn pretty!
87. Go and watch The Book of Mormon
Easily my favourite musical in London – worth every single penny. It’s not cheap but man it is so, so, SO worth it. Just don’t take anyone who’s easily offended!
88. Combine the best of both worlds at Trufflesecco
Truffle + Prosecco = all your stinky, bubbly dreams come true.
89. Get a black cab
My boyfriend is a black-cab driver. So if you could put some work his way, that’d be just swell!
p.s. Uber SUCKS.
London is Uhhhhmazing. And you’ll be amazed at what you discover by just walking around it.
Shit, that’s a lot of stuff eh? Let me know if you think I missed anything off the list and let me know if you’ve already completed it.
Thanks for reading, ya filthy animals!